Changing the way you think can change the way you express your anger. Such terms are inaccurate and can make you feel like your anger is justified, which makes it worse.
These words can also hurt others who may be trying to help you arrive at a solution to your problem. Anger can be caused by very real problems. You can do that by making a plan and checking in with it often so that you can check your progress often. Just make your best effort. When people feel angry, they tend to jump to conclusions, which can be inaccurate. Remember to listen to the other person in the conversation.
Good communication can help you resolve problems before your anger escalates. A medical professional such as a psychiatrist or psychologist can recommend interventions to control your anger. Talk therapy can be helpful, as can anger management classes.
Anger management sessions can be taken in person or online. They can also be studied in a book. Anger management will teach you how to identify your frustrations early on and then resolve them. This may involve telling others, or yourself, what you need, while also staying calm and in charge of the situation as opposed to having an angry outburst. These sessions can be taken alone with a counselor or with a counselor accompanied by your partner or a group.
The type, length, and number of sessions will depend on the program and your individual needs. This type of counseling can be brief or may last for several weeks or months. When you begin the sessions, your counselor will help you identify your anger triggers and read your body and emotions for signs of anger. Noticing and checking in with these warning signs is one early step needed to help control your anger. If you have underlying mental health conditions, your counselor will also help you manage them, often making it easier to control your anger.
Until the underlying issues of both hunger and vulnerability are attended to, the anger will remain. It is easy to identify the function of anger when it plays out with infants, but we often struggle to identify its function in our own lives.
Suspend your desire to act upon your anger. No matter how intense your experience of anger, acting upon this emotion without identifying why it is present may feel good for a moment or two, but often causes us to behave in ways we regret later and seldom helps to address the underlying issue fueling the anger.
Take a time out. Pause whatever it is you are doing and check to see if you can identify the primary emotion driving the anger. It is important to STOP and deliberately think this through as it is usually very difficult to identify anything other than anger initially. The shift from the primary emotions of fear, sadness, or loss happens rapidly so it takes deliberate thought to identify what lies beneath the anger. By identifying the fear, I can decide how to talk about this with my partner rather than simply blowing up about not having help cleaning.
Give yourself space to calm down. Work the problem. Anger tells you a problem exists. Taking time to work out a solution to the problem, eliminates the need for anger just like taking an antibiotic kills an ear infection and eliminates the need for the fever. Inherited tendencies, brain chemistry or underlying medical conditions also play a role in your tendency toward angry outburst.
Ideally, you'll choose constructive expression — stating your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Some research suggests that inappropriately expressing anger — such as keeping anger pent up — can be harmful to your health. Suppressing anger appears to make chronic pain worse, while expressing anger reduces pain. There's also evidence that anger and hostility is linked with heart disease, high blood pressure, peptic ulcers and stroke.
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you or is taking a toll on your personal relationships.
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